March 20, 2010
Sure I return the day after a near health disaster (yes, I’m prone to hyperbole) to log in a six-hour Saturday work day. I have issued dire warnings, yes, to the general public and all three of my readers here (two are probably intermittent visits by my brothers–blood ties run like that) never, and I say this casually but I mean it fiercely, go into teaching as an English teacher. Your life becomes that of a Buddhist nun making a sand mandala. You work on the amazing beauty of the design, grain by grain, for several months. And to celebrate once every detail is in place, you take a rake to the work, so you can start all over again. That’s been my professional life these last six years. Strange, yes?
Now you can see why I ask the Zen koan do English teachers date? I’m striving for spritzy humor to please my audience–all three of them–but in reality the question was a tad serious. Anyway, my flu fever has broken and I’m wobbling out to enjoy a delicious dinner, not the kind I will report on for lesbian dating though. Besides I don’t have an interest in random lesbian dating right now because I have this Rod-Serling-baritone-voice-Twilight-Zone-like-crush on a specific woman, who I have about as much a chance with as any of the characters on that show (one of my all time favorite examples of excellent story writing, by the way, since you asked!). I have been plopped on a strange planet called crushville and have no idea how to behave. Literally. Anyway, so my reporting back to the blog are simply field notes for those of you actually involved in real-life dating activity. Who knows? Maybe Serling will resurrect and write a show that actually pairs me with her, where I can mutter anything intelligible enough, so she detects me as a creature not from Mars but just an ordinary woman foibles and all. We’ll see and stay tuned all three of you out there.
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Posted by karolinawrites
March 19, 2010
Despite the title everyone is included. My goal is invite everyone to join the conversation no matter what the subject matter is. Why exclude anyone? At heart we all strive to create a little family we attach to and have enough money left over to eat well, yes? In that endeavor we are all bonded–no invitation left out for anyone to join together at the table–dining on joy. That is until you begin dating. These moments are pre-family days and are sometimes rich fodder for humor–the kind that comes at your expense. What’s that about the family that laughs together stays together? Let’s dig a little deeper.
So, last night after a short sleep from 1 a.m. until 7:00 a.m., I woke up to eat some eggs and say some prayers. I imagined I could sneak in a cat nap just before my older brother was scheduled to call me at 8 a.m. and then I slept until 4 p.m. as a fever spiked and drained my body. Finally, wandering out to the streets just in time for an early dinner, I stumbled upon a brilliant idea (sure, I expect feedback on that last admission). I have a vacation coming up–a beautiful one week corporate style rest–and so why not grab my digital camera and foodie’s appetite to discover amazing spots for street food dating? Ideally, fledgling lesbian couples enjoy these discoveries, but I’m pretty convinced dating dynamics ring true for straight folks, too.
I’m looking at the clock move towards 11 p.m. right now and my head feels like someone keeps tapping a small hammer against it while my body feels sweaty-feverish with a cement block on my shoulders; not feeling so well. So, I’ll keep this first entry short.
Some dates can encourage either one of you to simply stare in surprise at your potential happy-happy comrade and ask, “Really, you brought me here? What the %$#@?” Just in these moments layers of under-whelmed feelings can occur that might cement you two. For example, travel together one afternoon to the New Star Liquor Deli at 269 14th Street. The owner, George Salameh, will greet you warmly; imagine a maitre’d requiring no excessive cash bribe to escort you to your table. Two tables sit easily enough in one aisle of this small corner store. Bring back one of those sandwiches they make stacked with the important details like fresh avocado and abundant jalapenos. One is enough for two. The zinger, though, is that George makes fresh coffee as the sign declares outside, “One cup at a time.” He grinds the beans and the cup you will savor to the last drop is made individually with your own filter and all. The combo of fresh coffee and a shared sandwich, create urban street romance that for some women will mean this is the last date and for others the start of something savory.
Check out the Yelp insight http://www.yelp.com/biz/new-star-market-san-francisco
Stay tuned for more entries to follow over the next two weeks as the “vacation” actually starts now since we are in the week for final exams. And, of course, I’m writing these snippets as an experiment just in case god forbid I actually start dating. Do frumpy English teachers even date? Sounds like an oxymoron like jumbo shrimp or something. Anyway, here’s to culinary discoveries that spice up dating.
Leave a Comment » | Life | Tagged: romance, lesbian dating, san francisco street food, fresh coffee, savory | Permalink
Posted by karolinawrites
March 12, 2010
My weight balloons right now because I have this hypothyroid thingy and need to take a little pill that I have not–voila, an extra twenty pounds that redefines the term love handles beyond what feels comfortable. Probably the main reason why she is not calling. But, hey, you know–hope springs eternal and we spring the clocks forward a in a day or two, right? So, until then I’m stopping by Chico’s pizza for their amazing pepperoni slices served up at 131 6th Street. Beware though ’cause this strip of street hosts some of the most delectable cheap food goodies for many blocks around. I’ll run a more in depth review of the Vietnamese place a block away where Julia Child dined in 1989–true story.
After the baked extra well slice of pepperoni snowed in by hot peppers, I felt the call of a coca-cola. I don’t usually drink sodas. Please re-read the disclaimer above as to why. But sometimes when I’m in a damn-the-world-to-hell this is a rainy Friday and I’ll drink cola if I please, which might have been the situation this afternoon, I drink soda. Strolling across speeding traffic on 6th Street, I arrive to a corner store where the owner assesses me and confidently smiles once he identifies I’m not working the streets for drugs, my body, or as a cop. Trailing to the back, I find the cooler. I align myself with the glass door and slide it easy to the right.
I reach for the deep red Coca-Cola America lives by. And, then that Zeus bolt of inspiration strikes me. Dammit, I have had enough. I’m debunking da’ man right here and now. I put the soda back. I take five steps to the right and slide a different glass door. I’m going for the Stars and Stripes Cola or bust. Why drink name brand when you can mutiny with generic? I have had as much as I can take and so I’m taking a stand. My dollar is my last vote as I watch Republicans refuse to provide a government sponsored health plan for the guy sprawled on the sidewalk outside this little corner store. Instead, the conservatives fight to maintain corporate healthcare profits, so the government has to go into debt because the guy on passed out on the street will enter General Hospital a couple times a week and the hospital needs paying somehow, which spirals the national debt. Yes! Now that’s genius if I ever heard it. But I can debunk corporate profits every day.
For example, I am de-Chasing myself. Not as vulgar as it sounds, although I might have a body fetish right now because I keep talking about mine, but removing all my funds (again, sounds a touch dubious) from a national corporate bank means I can drink my Stars and Stripes generic cola, that tasted so amazingly better and not bitter because of the consciously aware purchase, in peace. In fact, I drove a few blocks down the road to fund my new financial accounts at www.newresourcebank.com Place is awesome! No cola served, but fresh water by real people who actually provide customer service. Me, I’m a patriot who respects her county by drinking stars and stripes. Join me?
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Posted by karolinawrites
March 12, 2010
Today I cried several times. Usually I’m a touch weepy just before the special cycle women experience. But that was last week. No, this is simply a palpable ache in my heart. Without going all mysterious on you all I can say is that mothering has so little to do with biology and everything to do with immediacy. Children need you right away.
This morning in the weekly therapy I treat myself to in Petaluma, I spoke of commitment. Sure, over the years I’ve struggled to settle down. Now that I’m becoming a touch familiar with psychology–no, not other people’s who I have taken enough inventories of over the years–but this time actually my own to understand why commitment has been a challenge. This one is simple. My grandiose ego had me imagine that the grass was always greener everywhere else but exactly where I was perched. Commit? Naaaaaw–that would mean discipline and follow through. Pleasant surprise that both of these are becoming pretty routine and that feels great, actually.
Shrinkeroo asks me if becoming a parent is an iffy commitment area and without a nanosecond passing, I say no. This has always been the only one that I can swiftly say yes to just in a second. Anyway, trust me when I say heartaches are truly physically palpable. Sometimes I just place my hand over my heart to ease the discomfort there. Here is wishing and hoping the kids I miss so much are fine.
Leaves me feeling grateful for all that I have. Today a quirky guy who would share long winding stories about a life stretched out over decades of drinking, passed away in Mexico in a fatal random car accident. He died sober. Carpe diem.
The practice to detach as Buddhism would encourage us to do worked so well as I leaned into a productive, purposeful, and fun day. Spiritual tricks work. Now if only that girl would call. What? We don’t get everything we want? I was absent the day they taught that in school. Sleepy and grateful then to have printed out a three day to-do list that is full to the rafters. I also submitted my first cinema studies essay today and that felt awesome to watch as my life takes a different direction. Mostly just leaving this day behind feeling extremely grateful for all I have, truly. Good night.
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Posted by karolinawrites
March 10, 2010
This morning in a San Francisco State class, Women and Film taught by Jenny Lau, our teacher reminded us how significant the current draconian cuts in education truly are. One student wondered aloud to everyone if his showing up at a protest would actually influence any specific changes. And the answer is that, yes, of course. I am finally hyper aware how simply showing up creates a presence that influences greatly. In politics, stepping out to the street is probably the strongest vote we have. On the list to participate is choosing a political group where I can donate some of my time. Money works also. My phone company Credo Mobile reminds and thanks me for donating a few extra dollars for social justice causes these last 11 years. http://www.credomobile.com/
Lau sent us an e-mail last week reminding everyone to march in protest of the $1 billion cut from K-12 California education. She admitted that to simply operate within the walls of academia without encouraging her students to ask how will I make a difference with my one life, would feel like a failure. So fascinating to watch a classroom from my perspective as a teacher. The room fell quiet and everyone sat raptly listening. Who says youth is jaded? Responsibility probably falls more on those in the know.
Funny pace to my life right now where I simply cannot get caught up and so I simply lean into the days. Also missing that spark of something-something, which is fun to enjoy. What do I mean? Just the spontaneity of a relationship, hoping she will call, texting silly stuff, enjoying a greasy Chinese dinner, watching a low-low B movie or kissing on the Telegraph Hill steps. I have been single long enough now to remember the contrast of a long term relationship. Both grooves are uniquely appealing and I’m gently falling into seeing myself as decently grown up, ready for the change. We’ll see. Is that political? I would suggest yes.
A friend of mine has been with her partner for twenty years or so; they own a beautiful home in the Portrero district here in San Francisco. How do they energize the kinetic stuff between them? Taking short trips is always fun. Mostly they have shared interests sure, but they actively go for it when it comes to solo time. Wait, that sounds like feeling some bursts of the single life while being in a relationship. Good to have positive lesbian role models! And in this flow, enough time is left to take political action.
A student in the morning film class today jeered that folks in the Castro protested when the Basic Instinct came out because–once again–a character with lesbian qualities equates to become a psychopathic killer. Remember the amazing film American Beauty? I was so bowled over by the cinematography until the ending scenes where a killer’s motives are linked to repressed gay desire. How predictable, yes? Problem is that when the same trite characterization of gay and lesbians occurs ad infinitum in film, the message becomes political.
Any message disseminated to popular culture becomes political as actions are taken or not taken based on internalized ideas. For example, the student who jeered at the public protests in the Castro is one I have been talking to quite a bit in class. This morning she hadn’t seen me take a back seat and the teacher winced at me when the comment was made. Lau knows I wish to choose a film and analyze it from a queer cinema perspective. Might run a draft or two by my buddy in class. Learning is political that way and relationships, too.
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Posted by karolinawrites
