I drove a few blocks away this morning in the rain, parked in front of a meter that does not kick in until 9 a.m., and then stumbled into a Valencia Street cafe. Yes, the time was five minutes before 7 a.m. A small group met to listen as an old-timer–someone in sobriety with a few years stacked up–took us carefully through what is known as the Big Book. So much to learn! Yet the effort to arrive was nada since right now I’m staying with a friend who lives on 16th Street, very close by. With energy to burn these days, I’m all fired up on uncertainty.
Returning from Hawaii, I needed to share gratitude with the woman who offered me a place for a few months, and then move on down the road, closer to work and all things caffeine related. Nobody steps between me and my elitist appetite for connoisseur coffee. I moved Saturday and began working full-time on Monday. That Saturday morning I sat on an empty box when my cell phone rang. A friend who I hadn’t heard from in several months called to ask if she knew anyone who could help her share the rent. Sure, I knew someone, or, at least, I’m getting to know her real well for the first time, and that woman would be me. So, I steered the Volvo all packed up to a different apartment than I had originally intended–that set of friends understood, especially since they have three cats and I am allergic. The plan was to turn the fan on, but who knew which direction the fur would fly, as they say.
On 28 October 2009, I finalized the sale of my condominium (read: the money truly arrived) and now I’m happily sofa-surfing. I’m actively involved in the process of becoming a full-time parent, working full-time, and re-engaging in the world of cinema. What else could I ask for? Alright, why did you have to go there? Sure, I feel a little tear in the paper-mache of my heart, but even a suave, debonair, hipster like me (those who know me, this is the cue to chuckle, heartily so) doesn’t always reach the woman she hopes for.
That’s called faith, knowing in this uncertainty I will be just fine even if all my little plans and designs do not come to fruition. Turns out I don’t have the final say–on anything. So, I just wake up and stumble into the day as comfortable with uncertainty as if she were an old winter sweater–warm, cozy, inspiring, and protective.
I knew this was a message to hear loud and clear when this morning I took a quick cat nap only to hear water gushing through the living room window–no joke. The window had a leak big-time. My friend has lived in this apartment for 18 years and this is probably the second time she has had to call the landlord. I called my cat-friends right away and they happily agreed the sofa was available if need be. Turns out the landlord stopped by and the area is all patched for today…temporarily. He will take this week to fix the gushing-water-onto-my-cot challenge. What’s that about every day presents an opportunity of uncertainty?
Posted by karolinawrites 